When I was little I was obsessed with this store called Zany Brainy.
Wow just thinking of it I get all these crazy flashbacks.
So one time I was there with my mom,
I have no idea how old I was probably 6-8ish.
All I know is it was my obsessed with stuffed animals era.
I remember there was this one stuffed animal.
It was yellow.
I don't remember what kind of animal it was.
It was really really soft.
When you shook it, it rattled.
I didn't really like the rattling part I remember, but I thought it would be alright.
My mom was busy doing something else so I just sat there for who
knows how long just petting this soft little guy.
I remember it was around 20 dollars.
Oof, that's a hard one to talk into.
I cradled that thing in my arms forever until my mom said it was time to leave.
I was devastated.
I ran up to her and tried everything I knew how to convince her to buy this thing.
She wouldn't give in.
She's a stubborn one my mama.
So I glumly walked back to the shelf to put it back.
But I remember. Before I set it down, I looked it square in the eyes.
I felt so terrible for leaving it so I said
"I promise that I'll be back for you someday.
I won't let you sit here alone your whole life.
I'll be back"
Those were my exact words.
It's a sad ending. I never did go back for him.
I remember when Zany Brainy closed.
I felt absolutely appauled.
I hadn't kept my promise.
In my 16 years I have thought about that a lot.
And I have absolutely no idea why I remember that experience.
One of those odd childhood memories I will never ever forget.
Isn't it funny though? Even back then I was attached. To objects.
I think now that I'm older I've become attached to people.
I really do. When I stop being friends with someone..it's so hard for me.
It's actually probably not a very good thing, at all.
It honestly just gives more heart ache than it should
when I think I will most likely never see or talk to that person again.
The sad thing is I probably won't even cross their mind again.
I just can't grasp it.
This probably isn't going to be good for my first boyfriend.
(HA assuming I get one)
I'm never going to want to break up with him!
Bottom line: since then I've tried not to break promises.
Occasionally I slip but I try very very hard not to.
And I'm just too attached.

Ta ta.