A few things I've learned today:

-Sara Bareilles is amazing to listen to when driving around aimlessly at night.

-Sara Bareilles is also amazing to listen to when sitting in the driveway wishing I had friends.

-Thirdly, Taylor Swift is amazing to listen to when crying out all the things built up inside.

I've been craving to blog all week. Now's the time.

To start off I would like to say that I haven't had too bad of a week. I really haven't. I've been complaining a lot lately about how everyday just seems exactly the same, nothing changes, same routine day after day. Well, this week was different. Everyday seemed to be busy. Even if I wasn't doing all too important of stuff, I felt like I was actually out in the world doing things. It was good. For the most part of this week I forced a positive attitude upon myself and wow does it change things. I guess that's why I feel so down right now, I've been positive all week and it comes to a point where I just run out. I was driving home from my dad's after going there because I had absolutely nothing else to do and well, I love my dad, and I don't even know what happend. I just couldn't go home. I drove around probably in 3 huge circles just feeling like absolute crap. Then when I finally pulled into my driveway, I couldn't even get myself inside. I just wanted to stay in there forever. It's so hard facing the world everyday trying to be positive. It's so hard putting on a smile every single day so people don't have to ask "What's wrong?". It's so hard to laugh it off when people say I look depressed all the time. It's so hard to try and make friends every single friking day. SO HARD. I don't want to know how many people think I'm a freak by now because of all the things I've been trying to do to make friends. The talking and texting is getting so out of hand. I've probably sent a good ten texts in the past week to people who haven't even replied. I'm literelly just throwing myself at people but there is no one there who wants to be my friend. Actually, scratch that. I've made one friend over the course of this week who I am sincerelly happy about. I've been friends with her for quite a while but this week I don't know it just became like official I guess you could say. I slept at her house once this summer and it was so cool, we just sat in her bed literelly talking for hours about anything and everything. She honestly just like completely understands me. It's insane. I love it so much though. OH and I have another friend! We're not too close yet but I relate to her so much. Everything I say she's like "Oh yeah I do that too!". It's so cool. I just love talking to her. Haha so wow look at that! I have made two friends this school year. Not just any two friends either, two people who GET me. Geez what am I complaining about?! I'm really glad I just got all that out..I didn't even realize how lucky I was to have found those two girls. The only thing nagging at my heart strings now is the need for a guy friend. Not even a boyfriend though, even though I really wouldn't mind that, at least for a little while. I hate teenage hormones. No matter how much I can say I really don't care about guys and their stupid and I'm glad I'm not friends with any blah blah blah..it's not true. Well, it kind of is. I mean I really don't care about them a ton, and I really don't have my eyes set on anyone at the moment, which is good. I just wish someone would just asking me on a freaking date or something! Honestly what happened to the good old days. GIRLS are asking guys out on dates now. Ridiculous. Really. This day and age things are just getting out of hand. Hm. Blogging really is my cure, I don't feel half as depressed as I did when I started writing this. I really shouldn't call this my blog though, more like my journal. Really who wants to read about me and my pathetic life? I don't know. I sure wouldn't. Alright well, done with Blogger for the night annnd time for Tumblr.