It's so funny reading my posts from two years ago and how I'm so different but also, so much the same. Still trying to find my motivation in life. Still trying to figure out exactly who I want to be. 2 years later, I'm still so worried about myself, my goals and accomplishments. I think the lesson learned from that is I need to just not worry about my future so much. Live in the moment. I can't just sit here and spent my life hoping, and wishing for the better day to come. My day is now. Life brings a lot of new experiences, ups and downs, but through it all and after everything, I'm still the same girl I'll always be. Just older.
It feels so refreshing to blog again. I may just start to make this a thing I will always do now. Although I used to be really cool and post pictures and quotes and what not. These days I just feel like writing, not having to add things to make my blog pretty. After all, I don't think anyone reads this anyone. And I mean anyone. And by that I mean I think I am honestly speaking to myself right now. But that is just fine, that is exactly what I need! I just need to get my thoughts and feelings out again, in a different place other than my journal where it all feels so hidden. Don't want to make this too long, and I have nothing profound to say, but life is something, isn't it? I'm so grateful for everything I have. I'm so grateful to have the amazing people who care for me so much. And I'm so grateful to have the one man in my life who truthfully is my everything right now. Sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed, because being who I am, in order to truthfully feel like I'm living my life to the fullest, I've got to take time to myself every now and then. I think I just get to overwhelmed with people all around me expecting me to be happy. Overwhelmed with the whole idea of having to be doing something all the time. Just reading my old posts, I miss those days last summer where I would just waste time by myself. Go to a book store. Watch a movie. Waste time on the computer. But those days are in my past, I can't do that all the time anymore. I have things to do, places to go, people to see. College to figure out. Apartments to decorate. Jobs to find. Money to earn. Life just happens all too fast. And that is probably the biggest cliche out there, but the most true one I have found. Life passes you by. And I've just truly got to learn to make the most of it. I have a little note I made in my phone, where whenever I see a quote, or hear a quote from someone that inspires me, I write it down. Found this the other day, that I am sure is a quote from an apostle, that truly made me want to get up and start living my life.
"There is nothing wrong with righteous yearnings- we hope and seek after things that are "virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy." The problem comes when we put our happiness on hold as we wait for some future event-our golden ticket-to appear."
And THAT my friends, is doctrine.
It's good to be back.
